Wednesday, July 22, 2009

SF Freaks!


Yesterday Liam and I took off on BART to go ride the fixies through San Francisco. We arrived a little after noon and grabbed some Subway and then hit up about 5 liqour stores because not one of them carried tall cans of Tecate.
Finally we get our tall cans, so we head over to Hubba's Hideout, a notorious old school skate spot, we sat and ate lunch while we watched this very professionally dressed woman roll a fat ass blunt. She was real professional about it too, hence the suit, she packed it, rolled it, sealed it, and burnt it. Then she pulled a softball out of her purse and began passing it between her hands and then bouncing it off the little wall that was in front of her. She must have been practicing her hand-eye coordination before heading back to the office. Nothing wrong with trees, but just a strange sight to see this woman very nicely dressed sitting on the bare pavement bouncing a softball back and forth off a wall. This was to be the first SF Freak encounter of the day, a day we'll never forget...hahaha i've always wanted to say that.
After the Hideout we rode along the piers, swierving in and out of cars and pedestrians. When we get close to Fisherman's Wharf this older dude on a mountain bike that we passed by, catches up to me, and is riding on my right side extremly close. We i asked him to back off a give me some room, because there was alot of traffic and you gotta have room to move around. We were on a two lane road, headed towards the beach area and we were coming up to a tour bus in the left lane and a taxi in the right lane. Liam breaks left and goes around the cars, i try to go right, around the taxi, but the mountain biking douche bag is still trying to smell what deoderant im wearing. I tell him to back off so i can squeeze in between the curb and the taxi, but he doesn't. I speed up to pass him, and this idiot stands up on his bike and hauls ass to keep up with me. "Fuck it, i'm not crashing into a taxi" i cut that idiot off and he hits the curb. I catch up to Liam and we look back and the dude on the mountain bike is coming up hella close. He stops right next to me "Watch who the fuck you cut off!!" So i raise my voice "Youre a complete idiot, you were on my ass the whole time! I TOLD YOU TO BACK THE FUCK UP YOU IDIOT!!" Then i threw my back towards him and lunged...i swear to "G" There are some freakin' crazies in SF.
Last but certainly not least. The crem-de-la-crem. This is one of the weirdest situations ever. Me and Liam both were very uneasy about this next guy, and we honestly thought we were about to get stabbed, or shot, one way or another we thought we were gonna die.
We got to a little Irish Pub/Curry House on Columbus and Chestnut called "Kennedy's" we got a couple beers and reminesed on the crazies we had encountered that day. Next thing you know, this guy comes right off the street yelling, "Hurry up, hurry up! Show me whatchu workin' wit!!" He was yelling at a group of women on the corner. Keep in mind that Liam and I are out on the back patio area BY OURSELVES!! So this guy comes up and asks for a light, Liam gives him his lighter. They guy says thanks and starts walking away....with Liam's lighter. "Hey bro. His lighter." The guy turns around hella mad and says "Fucking smartass." Liam laughed and the guy looked at me and said "At least your friends laughing." Liam and i looked at eachother like, WTF is this guys deal? Then he asked our names. Asked if we wanted some trees. Then proceeded to ask us for cell phones, which "we didnt have". He asked us each to remember a portion of his phone number so we could call him for some herb, then gave his address. He turned away and started walking away again, then he turned and pointed at Liam "Are you trying to ste me up?!" "Stand up and be a man, Liam!" At this point me and Liam both were reaching for our bike locks cuz this guy was definatly unstable. "You need to tell your boy to wake the fuck up!" he shouted to Liam. "Alright you guys, have a good one, i'll buy you beers next time we hangout. And don't trust anyone that doesn't follow the word." Then he left. SUPER UNSTABLE BIPOLAR CRACKHEADED SF FREAK!!
Liam and I just hopped back inside and decided we'd had enough to drink and enough crazies for one day.

'Till next time.
Love, Peace, and Chikn Grease

1 comment:

  1. lol whoa dude, wtf? where you wearing your fucking "crazy magnet" or what? no? it must have been your deodorant then.

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