"It's Britney Bitch!"-gay man on bart

A few weeks back i was in SF riding my fixie with Ryan. It was getting late, so i rode my little drunk ass to the nearest BART station.

I got on the last train to the Del Norte station by the skin on my teeth and when i got on, i looked around and it was just me, my bike, and a little old asian man sleeping on the opposite side of the train car.

It was a smooth ride........until, we pulled up to the damn Coliseium.

The flippin' Britney Spears concert had just gotten out and there was an ocean of teeny bopper teens, moms, and queens flooding the station.

Then my biggest fear came true.........

The doors opened!! People rushed through the doors like water breaking through a dam. People were tripping and trampling over eachother to make the last BART train. A handful of people tripped over my tires and then,.... and then,.... and then......i felt someone brush up behind me. This dude and his dude were pinned between the train doors and my back, sort of an awkward train ride.

I did the best i could and managed to let people know that i would soon be departing the train and would need their cooperation to make way for my bike. I talked to the two guys that were increasingly close to my back and asked them about the show. The queen of the two was in front of his dude being held from behind and he replied, "The Pussycat Dolls were amaaaaaazing! and Britney was incredible, she is making a MAJOR comback!!" I just knodded my head and agreed.

*DiNG* (the doors open)

"Excuse me"

"EXCUSE ME"

"GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY!"

People were hella rude and would not budge so i had to raise my voice and use more dominant vernacular.

Then the most frustrating BART ride flipped a complete 180 and got hilarious.

The dude behind me put his hands on my shoulders, which worried me at first, but then a shriek i would only hear out of one of the little girls at my moms daycare bellowed out from his mouth, "Move out the way bitches! He's on a bike!!" So, i went with it.

I was running through people like a bowling ball striking through a set of pins.

One guy ended up falling out of the train and landing flat on his ass. I thanked the fairy dude for the assisstance.

and then i heard it....

With his head and half his body outside the train doors.

"IT'S BRITNEY BITCH!!"

He said it with such accomplishment, as to tell everyone that nobody could mess with him.

Funniest BART ride ever.